The Presidential Pamphlet

I tweet more than blog and I don’t do political prose at all but I do keep tabs on current affairs. I had to blog this though.

So Gay Mitchell is the Fine Gael candidate running for a four-year term to hang out in the Phoenix Park. He was on the UL campus yesterday. He was of course easily seen with a horde of suits and supporters trailing behind him. It was the first time I ever heard of the man. I’m a firm believer that news will find me if it’s important.

Anyway, he shook my hand and delivered a one-liner that gave the gist of “running” and “President”. One of the young canvassers thrust a pamphlet at me with the spiel on it. I felt a little used and greasy after the short exchange but that’s neither here nor there.

Let’s a take a look at this pamphlet with his aims, goals and all that jazz. As an English major I have a deep respect for language and anyone else with a lick of sense will see the gaping inconsistencies. The spiel and obligatory social links will also not help the fact that it’s printed on the same paper quality as fake Pokémon cards.

In case you can’t make out the text on the image, I’ve typed out the text below it with some commentary.

Text from the pamphlet

About Gay
Born in Dublin(,) the second youngest of nine children, his father died when he was five years old. To make ends meet, Gay’s mother would go out to work at 4 a.m. cleaning offices – she was an inspiration. (One of my friends commented that this reads like an X-Factor sob story.) Gay went to night-school, college and university. (Isn’t college and university the same thing or is it a hint of elitism?) He became a youth leader (What’s a youth leader? What do they do?) and from community involvement (From where? I’ve never heard of this guy before and his childhood background is not relative to my concerns.) entered politics. He has been elected 4 times as a Councillor (Where? What?), 8 times as a T.D. (TD) and MEP. He has held many prominent public offices. (Now we get to a part I should need know more about, but wait, we’ve already run out of space for this paragraph. From what I can see, he did have a hard childhood but I cannot see how all of this background information will help me make a decision to vote for him. Let’s roll onto The Presidency paragraph, *drum roll*)

The Presidency

The President is a one-person institution. (Wait, what? As opposed to a one person-empire or a one-person comedy show?) An experienced person can make the office work for the whole community. (A one-person community?) We are at a critical crossroads, (over-used cliché) the direction we take now will be decisive for all of us and for generations to come. (We? Us? Generations?) Gay Mitchell has the energy and experience (I just know about his background from age five to when he finished college/university) to help lead our country in the right direction. We will be proud at home, respected abroad. (As opposed to already being one of the black sheep of the EU. That final sentence kinda tapered off at the end of the paragraph.)

Ireland(missing apostrophe)s Recovery

Gay believes in a framework for recovery based on four pillars: protecting rights, taking responsibilities, encouraging enterprise and creating social justice. (Is that also the role of your political party? Also, creating social justice? Huh?) We can be great again on an economic level – we’re already on our way. (to screwing ourselves over again, right?) By following these four intertwined principles we can be happier too, that is what the Proclamation spoke of: “prosperity and happiness” (A little bit of patriotism). By 2016(,) we can be a really inclusive society.(Inclusion? Where the hell did curveball come from? This final line really infuriated me. Completely inconsistent and meandering.